What’s it Like Living with Someone with ADHD?

Five words come to mind: confusing, frustrating, guilt, tiring, and lonely.

Confusing

It's confusing because they’re unpredictable – what the person will do, not do, and what expectations you should have of them.

And it’s confusing because you sometimes don't understand why they act and react as they do. When you don’t know where you stand or what to expect that creates uncertainty.

Frustrating

Frustration is where you go when confusion remains unanswered and builds up.

Frustrations stem from unfulfilled expectations, forgotten tasks and conversations, and nagging.

Their sensitivity can be frustrating. Cautiously navigating for fear of negative emotional responses in case they feel hurt or rejected by words or actions with no such intent.

Possibly the biggest frustration? When their need for attention takes up time you don’t have. Their needs always win. This impacts the whole family. And living with an ADHD adult can be like living with a child.

But you do what you do because you don't want them hurting.

Which leads to…

Guilt

You feel guilty when you want to focus on you.

Whatever issues you have pale into insignificance because you don't have ADHD. You don’t have executive function problems so whatever you're struggling with just doesn't compare. You should be able to just deal with it.

So where does that leave you?

Tired

Really tired. Emotionally and physically drained.

You feel like you can't take a break; that you need to be ‘on call’ ready to deal with situations and heightened emotions at any time. That's tiring.

And it’s lonely.